Neighbors Give 'Dirty Chocolates' to Tinker Belle on Halloween

by Chris Hollenback

This Halloween, my one-year-old son, John, dressed up as Charlie Brown. To make the costume truly authentic, we drew the jack-o-lantern design on the back of his bald head like Lucy does to Charlie Brown in "The Great Pumpkin." Lucy wants to practice before actually carving the pumpkin, and this gave us some practice for ours, too.

Clearly, John has a future in male modeling.

Meanwhile, my daughter, Belle, who just turned three, dressed as Tinker Belle. She wasn't happy when I drew the jack-o-lantern on John. "Daddy!" she reprimanded. "Mommy said we're not supposed to draw on John."

Luckily my wife stood up for me. "That's just for his costume, Belle. It's special for Halloween."

"And I don't use permanent marker," I added. "This will wash off in less than four weeks."

Belle threatened to cry several times because her antennae wouldn't stay on. (Sound familiar, parents?) But the promise of candy quickly turned her around. She and John scored some good loot from neighbors. Belle kept pointing to hers.

"Look, Daddy, I have Snickers!"

"Actually, those are Ghirardelli chocolates," I said.

"Yes," she said, "Dirty-ol-chocolates."

"No, Ghirardelli chocolates."

"Right, dirty-ol-chocolates."

There's no shaking her conviction--kinda like when people stubbornly voted for Walter Mondale.

Tinker Belle's like Linus, who sits in the pumpkin patch, patiently waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise up and bring dirty-ol-chocolates to all the girls and boys.

She'll always believe Snoopy has great taste for fine sweets.

Oct. 2006 Post: A Trick or Treat?

Copyright Christopher Hollenback, 2007, all rights reserved.

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned From My Two-Year-Old:

10) It's no big deal to scoop leftover soggy Cheerios back into the cereal box. They'll dry.

9) It is possible to remove five rolls of toilet paper from inside the toilet bowl – try salad tongs.

8) If you’re pushing a toy stroller into the legs of your parents, it's OK as long as you say “Scuse me, scuse me!” while you’re doing it.

7) Little brothers can't possibly break, even if you whack them with brooms.

6) Daddies make excellent napkins.

5) How do you get sooooo big? “Eat Skittles!”

4) Mittens are required while eating a popsicle, even indoors.

3) Toddlers are obsessed with grabbing the “hockey puck” in urinals.

2) When do two-year-olds learn to poop in the big potty? “When I learn how to drive, Daddy," mine said.

1) And the number-one thing I’ve learned from my two-year-old is what she said to my friend when he arrived at our house last weekend: "Don’t forget to wipe!”