Contrary to Popular Belief

By Christopher Hollenback

When my wife catches our kids doing something naughty, she often says, “Did Daddy say you could flush paper down the toilet?”

The kids, of course, never asked me. It's always easier to beg forgiveness. But my daughter, Belle, will immediately come find me and ask, “Daddy, did you say it was OK to flush paper down the toilet?”

“Um, no.”

Belle then scuttles back. “Mommy, Daddy said 'no.' He didn’t say it was OK.”

I wouldn’t teach my daughter naughty stuff. Well, at least not intentionally. She has learned a few new words when her Daddy’s favorite football team screws up.

My wife has a master’s degree in education, so she teaches the kids a plethora of positive lessons.

Belle recently described one. “Daddy, Mommy taught me to keep my pants on. She also taught you to keep your pants on.”

I wish my daughter could keep her pants on when she wants to go to the park. “Daddy, let’s go. Let’s goooo.” We’re blessed to have two parks nearby. I suggest to Belle that we go to the park to the right of our house.

“No, I want to go to the one to the left." It’s nice that she knows her directions. But it’s frustrating when she disagrees for the sake of disagreeing.

“You’re so contrarian,” I said to her.

“No, I’m Belle.”