Ready for American Idol

My two-year-old, Johnny, recently started singing "Shake Your Groove Thing."

And he already knows how to exit stage right before Simon Cowell can critique him!

Still, Johnny has some maturing to do before he hits Hollywood. For example, the other day he picked his nose and said, "Daddy, I get burgers from my nose."

"Don't you mean boogers, John?" I said.

"Not burgers, Daddy. Cheeseburgers."

The other day, I sat down with Johnny to explain it was finally warm outside. And, of course, he insisted on wearing his heaviest flannel jammies. To the store. So we went to Target and a woman walked by, looked at Johnny and his older sister, Belle, and said: "I love it, it's spring and the girl's in her Christmas dress and the boy's in his flannel jammies."

Johnny still isn't *quite* potty trained. He's close. But once in awhile, he'll sneak into Belle's room and suddenly get quiet. Really quiet. The other day I interrupted him sitting in Belle's room, wincing.

"What are you doing, John?" I asked him.

"Pooping," he said, luckily still with diaper on.

"John, don't we poop in the potty?" I asked.

"No, I poop in Belle's room!" he said.

Let's face it, sometimes our best attempts at parenting turn out like this:


Lately, though, he has been getting better at using the potty. We're so close I can smell it!

Belle's learning to overcome her fears. "Daddy, that blanket downstairs looks scary," she said. "It scared my pants away."

Neither kid is afraid to share their developmental progress, either. John took the phone while I was talking to my brother and declared, "Uncle Jay, I have my wallet and I have my clothes on. Love you, bye."

Belle's so mature at age 4 she's already joining the Women's Lib movement. She was pretending to be a princess and pretending John was a frog. She kissed him to turn him into a prince, thought about it then declared, "Nah, I turn you back into a frog."

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