What's My Name Again?

They say a parent starts losing his or her memory after having kids. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, I'm not sure. Or, it could be a typo, and it's really parents start losing their minds after having kids.

Fortunately, my kids recently tied strings of yarn around random objects throughout our house. And not just one or two objects. We're talking fifty or so.

Tie string around the refrigerator? Check. My shoes? Yep. Cell phone? No doubt. Ketchup bottle? How could you not?

If only I knew what they were trying to get me to remember. "You could remember to turn on your cell phone," my wife said sardonically.

At least my kids remind me how much they love me. Like yesterday, when my five-year-old daughter Belle said, "Daddy, I love you as much as my stuffed animal Kitty."

I frowned. "That's it?"

"Yep!" she said excitedly.

"Well, who would you miss more if you lost one of us -- Kitty or your daddy?"

"Kitty!" she giggled.

Thanks a lot, Belle.

She tried to console me. "I love you both, Daddy -- even you."

"Um, do you mean, 'I love you both -- especially you?"

Belle looked confused. "Something like that."

Worse, the kids already have me with one foot in the grave. Belle said to her brother: "Johnny, when you die you'll see our parents in Heaven."

Johnny said, "Will Mommy go to Heaven first?"

Belle: "No way, Daddy's definitely going first."

"Hmm," I scratched my head. What was I talking about again?