Quoth My Daughter: 'Arm in Fireplace...'

My daughter Belle just celebrated her second birthday last weekend by frosting her own face and strategically placing 25 VeggieTales stickers in her hair. "Belle pretty," she declared.

Two-year-olds are at a fun age when they think outloud. Which is handy for a parent because they declare what they're about to do before they actually do it. For example, Belle said "Pet kitty... pet kitty" on her way to pet Grandma's 145-year-old cat named Snickers, who loathes touching from anyone, especially an overzealous two-year-old with grubby hands. Fortunately, Snickers is happy to hiss (providing fair warning) and doesn't pounce unless absolutely necessary.

The party almost went up in flames when Belle declared "Arm in fireplace... arm in fireplace" en route to Grandma's inferno. Luckily, we were able to pounce faster than Snickers The Cat and Belle was unscathed.

Belle opened presents. She loved the life-sized Larry Cucumber balloon, "Belle's favorite" character, as she likes to say. She promptly used it to "tap" her little brother on the head. It's not that she's bratty. She's just, well, two. She says "please" and "thank you." In fact, her first word was "please." True story. Of course, her second word was "bling."

My wife had rehearsed with Belle all week for her Birthday Cake Moment of Truth, singing Happy Birthday and then saying, "What comes next, Belle?" Belle would say, "Candles!" and proceed to make a blowing noise. But when the Birthday Cake Moment of Truth arrived, Belle stared at her VeggieTales birthday cake as if Larry Cucumber had just been diced for a salad. It was a true Singing Frog moment. Just before I broke into "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal," Grandma and Mommy intervened to help Belle blow out the candles and we all had cake, made with freakishly great skill by my sister.

Food was the order of the day, though. When I woke up the morning before the party, I could have sworn I smelled bananas. I look to my left and, sure enough, there's a half-eaten yellow piece of fruit on my pillow! Apparently my wife and daughter had decided they couldn't finish; so they made Daddy an impromptu breakfast in bed. Aw, and it wasn't even my birthday!

I guess the moral is that kids are always full of surprises. Unless they broadcast their thoughts before they take action. Something tells me I won't have that advantage when Belle's a freshman.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to a friend or send me a note. Or, if you think it's the most pathetic thing you've ever read, do the same.

Next up: Breast Feeding -- a Trick or Treat?

Sincerely,
Chris

Copyright Christopher Hollenback, 2006, all rights reserved.